My house of Schizophrenics

Over the last year, I’ve learned that everything in my house has a case of schizophrenia.

Last night, the GIANT stuffed teddy bear my Mr. brought home right before Christmas apparently also leads a double life as a slide. I know, I wouldn’t have pictured a teddy bear as a slide, either. But, Easton must be on to something, because man, he made that shit look fun! He spent a solid 10 minutes climbing on it and rolling himself off the side. Luckily, I got my iPhone to play nice and allow me to take a few more pictures (it keeps telling me crazy stories about being too full, psh). To illustrate my point:

tb tb2

But, like I mentioned – EVERYTHING in my house has begun to take on double lives. The teddy bear was just the latest to fall victim. So, for your reading enjoyment a present to you my list of little schizophrenics:

1. My boring, decorative couch pillow that moonlights as a sombrero when placed on my head and accompanied by my pitiful attempt at speaking spanish. Great for times when there’s a boy who just bumped his head and needs a little cheer.

2. The blanket that thinks it’s in Spain taunting bulls….and my baby that subsequently becomes a bull whether he wants to or not.

3. The broom that spent a few too many hours watching Beauty and the Beast and studying the dusters every move. Everybody now…”Be our guest, be our guest, put our service to the test, tie your napkin round your neck cherie and we’ll prepare the rest!”.

4. My couch that turns into dense jungle brush the moment mommy pulls a “crouching tiger, hidden dragon” out of the peek-a-boo bag of tricks.

5. The remote control/coaster/anything remotely flat and square all become phones. Must be part of this new generation of tech gurus because all the kid wants to do is talk on the phone. Granted, watching his hold his hand to his ear and say “hiee” is precious.

6. The ottoman that serves as a sounding board for my rambunctious 1-year-old as he throws himself all over the room in an attempt to move faster than his legs will cooperate. This whole operation could also come eerily close to resembling a pin-ball machine when he really gets going.

7. The baseball glove that Easton thinks is great as a mask which he holds over his face as he attempts to walk around. What started as a game of peek-a-boo, has morphed itself further into this. He finds it HILARIOUS. Mommy finds it terrifying. remember #6? Picture that with a kid that has basically blind-folded himself.

and last but CERTAINLY not least…

8. The daddy that turns into a deaf narcoleptic as soon as little man fills up his diaper. Lucky for us, the sitter gets a majority of the poopies!

As you can tell, I’m not the most serious, straight-laced parent around. I like to have fun with my boy, I like to make him laugh. If that means it’s at my expense, so be it. I have no qualms reducing myself to a mess of dancing, face-making, singing chaos for the sake of my kiddo. I simply call it bonding 🙂

So, let me hear about the things in your house you’ve turning into schizoprenics for the sake of “bonding”….don’t be shy!


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