How NOT to Spend a Rainy Sunday Morning

Answer: a yard sale.

If yesterday were any indication, people don’t like to shop outdoors for your old picture frames and worn out tennis shoes in pouring rain. How odd. Those were REALLY great tennis shoes. They were going for $0.50. People should’ve been all over that.

But maybe I’m just bitter.

Okay, probably I’m just bitter.

Bitter that people didn’t jump all over the opportunity to snatch up 43 of my most cherished stuffed animals from my childhood? No.

Well, partly.

In reality, I was more disappointed that all my efforts went un-noticed by my fellow Houstonians.

After all, I had been carefully growing my “garage sale” pile since we moved into our house LAST December. For anyone keeping count, that was 11 months ago. I organized my pile, I neatly stacked it in the corner of my garage, I added to it bit by bit…just to ensure it didn’t feel lonely or un-loved. I nurtured it, sang to it and rocked it to sleep like it was my baby….well I kept it clean and spider-free, so that’s pretty much the same thing.

When I cleaned out my parent’s storage, my “garage sale” pile really came to life. So much so that I took it upon myself to spend a Saturday nurturing it some more. This baby needed room to grow! I hauled lumber up into my attic took a hammer and nails (my drill battery was dead) and floored in part of my attic to make room for my beautiful, fruitful pile. For those of you who know what kind of coordination I have, you know what kind of task this was for me. But I did it. Yes, it took me 3 days to get the splinters out of my hands, but I did it.

Then, when the time came, I spent another Saturday loading my precious pile of memories of my younger self into the back of our truck.

One. Box. At. A. Time.

I woke up at 5 am that Sunday.

Wait, allow me to repeat that. I woke up at 5 am that Sunday.

I loaded up my sleepy baby and husband and drug them over to my sister’s house. I started un-earthing the contents of my pile faster than my arms could move. People are going to be here! Any second! We must hurry! FASTER! Packing paper was flying and boxes were being emptied at lightning speed. Go us.

And then….drip.

Drip drop. Drippity droppity drip drop drip drip.

POUR.

Take-cover-like-you’re-a-melting-witch-kind-of-pour.

Tarps were thrown over what we could cover, and we sat on the porch and watched everything get soaked. We turned the porch into a Bloody Mary bar and sat back and waited. A couple of hours later, the skies parted and things slowly started to dry up. And then things just got weird.

It was too late for the usual pickers, but I was determined to lure in some stray passer-bys. And why not? The bloody marys made me brave. I’ve got this, leave it up to Kelly.

Once glance at the boxing attire and I had my game plan. I strapped on rubber foot covers, hand covers and an awesome hat and proceeded to the nearest intersection to ensure people saw our neon “yard sale” signs.

My awesomeness must have been intimidating, because I am sad to report that this tactic did not work.

How odd.

Who wouldn’t want to buy this person’s old area rug?!?

 

this result from a bloody mary definitely puts me in the “light weight” category

 

 

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5 thoughts on “How NOT to Spend a Rainy Sunday Morning

      • I really kind of can’t believe that people didn’t go! Those that frequent yard sales can be a strange bunch. If it makes you feel better we had a yard sale a few months ago, my boyfriend’s daughter was selling her Barbies at $5 a pop (which I thought was high but it was high because she really didn’t want to part with them), we had a chalk board out there and something else like a baby gate or something. This family came up speaking in Spanish, which I do understand (don’t speak well but understand quite a lot) and I heard the girl tell her Mom that she only had enough for one Barbie. Her Mom said “No you are going to get two, go grab the other one.” So the girl did. Then they put the baby gate and the chalk board in their car and had the girl give us the $5 and I just stared at them, expecting them to come back with more. I called to them “Wait, you owe us for the baby gate, and the chalk board and the other Barbie!” They jumped in their car and took off. (My boyfriend was down the street at the time and I was in no way risking my life or his daughter’s life to chase after some horrible people… I hope their tire blew out). So you avoided that. Oh insult to injury they were our only customers.

      • Wow! That’s rude. You can only hope the little girl truly benefited there. There were a few people who came by, but for a 4 family yard sale we were hoping for a much bigger crowd. Oh well, we made a giant donation to goodwill and got some family time together!

      • True.

        That’s a huge yard sale!!! It’s too bad you couldn’t try again, but goodwill does good things for those that cannot afford it otherwise (or get regular jobs). Good for you guys!

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