Apparently, I’m hilarious*! *references available upon request.

Thanks to that one semester in college when I took a public speaking class and was FORCED to analyze the qualities of my voice (this has got to be a form of torture somewhere) I am now acutely aware of just how awful I sound. And I’m not even talking about singing. I mean I just have a terrible voice.

However, I cannot speak for what I sound like when I talk to my 4 month old son. Because as all women and most men know, the voice used when communicating with a baby is entirely different than the one used for the general public. I won’t say I “baby talk” (a lot) to him, because I try to be very conscious of using proper grammar and not just saying ooggly googly blabber. BUT I most certainly use a different voice. It just happens, it will not change, I accept this. And, as it turns out, little E finds me pretty darn funny.

Now, I’m sure the whole “you’re his mother, he just likes hearing your voice” thing is completely accurate. And I loooovveee that. I eat that sh*t up with a spoon. But, I have a confession. I have taken this and run. I’m talking Run, Forest, Run.

It goes like this. I’m changing him into his jammies, talking to him about Lord-knows-what in that voice. I kiss his belly because how is it possible NOT to kiss his bare belly?! I hear a giggle.

jackpot. his giggles are like crack. I NEED more.

From here, there must be some other chemical in my brain that takes over, because I just can’t help myself. I will do ANYTHING to hear more giggles.

And so, to date, I have caught myself after an unknown lapse of time doing all of the following in what I can only imagine is the most ear-piercing pitch:

  • Jumping back and forth in his face saying “I’mmmmm gonna getchyou”
  • Acting like a monkey
  • Acting like a frog
  • Dancing around singing “shake your groove thing”
  • Bouncing him on my knee jabbering nursery rhymes until he gave me the “i’m gonna yack” face

All I can say is that I’m glad we don’t have any sort of video monitoring in the house or Christian would have ammunition on me for the rest of our lives. That, and I really hope his hearing is not impaired by all of this racket.

Christian: don’t even think about a hidden camera.

In any event, the end is totally worth the (ridiculous) means. SO please, I’m dying to hear other people’s tactics –  don’t keep ’em to yourselves!!

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